"The Beast Within": Life With an Invisible Chronic Illness

This autoethnography documents the author's lived experience while in the midst of an acute flare-up of ulcerative colitis (UC). Through depicting such a flare-up the depths of despair, anger, and frustration are relived. The disruption caused by the chronic illness upon daily functioning leads the author to reflect upon the influence of illness on an athletic body within a sporting subculture. Questions are raised regarding the "validity" of having an invisible chronic illness when confronted with what has been termed a "culture of risk." The autoethnographical journey helps the author to understand issues of disclosure.