‘Handshakes, BBQs, and bullets’: self-interest, shame and regret in football coaching

This autoethnographic story explores the competitive, calculating, and often uncaring world of performance football coaching. Particular attention is given to the dilemmas I (the first author) faced, the choices I made, and the consequences of my actions within the coaching context. Bauman's work on liquid relationships is suggested as a lens through which my story can be viewed. By highlighting its political and emotional nature, this article seeks to contribute to an evolving problematic epistemology of sports coaching; one that seeks to extend beyond continuing rationalistic and ‘heroic’ accounts of practice.